In a landmark appearance sure to resonate in the annals of pop culture history, The Apples in stereo frontman Robert Schneider appeared on The Colbert Report as the "opening act" to provide his "objective opinion" on the now-infamous "guitar shred-off" between The Decemberists' Chris Funk and guitar-god Stephen Colbert. Schneider gladly obliged by debuting the song "Stephen Stephen" for the first time on Comedy Central's Emmy-nominated TV show, The Colbert Report. (The episode will air again tomorrow, Wednesday, January 3 at 11:30 PM EST and again on Thursday, January 4 at 8:30AM; 2:30 PM and 8:30 PM.)

This lyrical masterpiece was penned by Schneider in support of Stephen Colbert's "Second Green Screen Challenge," which ultimately led to a titanic guitar throw-down between Funk and Colbert.

Decrying the blatantly undeserved attacks on Colbert, Robert Schneider served unsolicited as his beloved hero's musical wingman by writing the tune "Stephen, Stephen." The song was sent to Colbert early last week amidst the growing smack-talk between The Decemberists and Colbert now popularly referred to as "The Decemberists vs. Stephen Colbert," along with this note:

"Dear Stephen, Because we are so affronted by the lawless attacks on your green screen priority, as well as by the ferocity of grizzly bears, black bears, brown bears, and the like; and because we are grateful for your efforts to alert the public to the dangers of these terrifying creatures (of course I mean The Decemberists); we have written this song 'Stephen, Stephen' for your enjoyment. Your humble servants, The Apples in stereo."

"STEPHEN, STEPHEN" LYRICS
(c) 2007 Robert Schneider

Who's the television host
Understands what matters most?

Stephen, Stephen
He's a handsome man his name is Stephen
Wo-oh Number one TV show
Stephen, Stephen
He's a dashing man his name is Stephen
Wo-oh He's taking on the status quo

Don't stop believin' Stephen, Stephen, Stephen.
Don't stop transceivin' Stephen, Stephen, Stephen.
He's calling out the bears in their evil lairs.
He's calling out the press in their fancy dress.

Who's the television host
Understands what matters most?

Don't stop believin' Stephen, Stephen, Stephen.
Don't stop transceivin' Stephen, Stephen, Stephen.
He's calling out the bears in their evil lairs.
He's calling out the press in their fancy dress.
He's calling out the Decemberists and their green screen contests.

Stephen, Stephen
He's a handsome man his name is Stephen
Wo-oh Number one TV show
Stephen, Stephen
He's a dashing man his name is Stephen
Wo-oh He's taking on the status quo

"Stephen, Stephen" will be available as a free download exclusively at Zune for two weeks starting on Thursday, December 21. To download the track you must install the Zune Media Player.


After the install is complete click here to download the song.


After a decade releasing music, The Apples in stereo have been synonymous with some of the finest psychedelic indie power pop around. The Apples in stereo will release their first album in five years, New Magnetic Wonder, on February 6th. New Magnetic Wonder marks the debut album on Elijah Wood's new joint venture with Yep Roc, Simian Records (co-released and distributed via Yep Roc Records/Elephant 6/Redeye Distribution).

Worldwide tour dates, including dates in the US will be announced shortly. To coincide with their UK release, the band will perform at the festival of choice for UK music aficionados, All Tomorrow's Parties. The Apples in stereo were voted Most Wanted by fans along with the Arcade Fire and Modest Mouse. The festival takes place from April 27th - 29th at Butlins Holiday Centre in Minehead.